As part of the blog tour for You’d Better Watch Out, I am sharing an interesting blog post from author, Frank Cadaver!
Fear and Guilt and Bullying
“Fear and guilt are sisters.”
Shirley Jackson, The Haunting Of Hill House
It was a discomfiting experience to write You’d Better Watch Out, my Christmas horror book about a bully’s terrible comeuppance. In a minute I’ll tell you for why, but first; I’d like to ask you a question. It’s a difficult question, but if your answer is yes, we shall applaud your extraordinary courage and weep for your trauma. The question is this:
Are you a victim of bullying?
Thank you for your answer, I really will get to my horror with the skin-flaying Elf in a mo, but before then – thanks for your patience – I would like you to answer just one more question please. It is also a difficult question, and this time if your answer is yes, we will despise you. We will write lengthy social media denunciations about you. We will scour the internet to learn every horror you have perpetrated, will read with morbid glee the horrifying consequences your heinous actions had on your victims. We will race past your apology, my befouled friend, and head straight to the Comments section, and don’t go there yourself because we’re describing some hateful things happening to your corpse, all in the name of justice.
No pressure: the question is this:
Have you been a bully yourself?
The thing is, that first question? We were actually asked once in school. I remember it quite clearly, because I was myself being regularly hounded by a pack of older boys while on my paper round. Just that week their leader had snatched the personal alarm my mum made me carry, had pulled out the emergency cord, and had proceeded to rave out to its blaring tone while his mates pushed and kicked me, and the knackered old Daily Sport subscriber at number 54 watched with a smoke and some morbid glee. Looking back now, I was frightened, to be honest, and so when that question was asked in class, Is anyone here a victim of bullying? I tentatively put my hand up, and felt great comfort when many of my peers, boys and girls alike, did the same.
And then I caught sight of the kid whose personal hygiene I’d mocked just that morning.
He wasn’t looking at me, this boy. He never looked at anybody. He didn’t even have his hand up – probably because he was scared he’d be picked on if he did. Some kids get it bad, and he was one of them. If we’d been asked the second question that day, Has anyone here been a bully themselves?, then we’d’ve all had to put our hands up except this boy, because when the pack threatened us? He was the easy meat we’d chuck in their jaws as a distraction. It was bullying, and if he ever reads this, then please know that I am so sorry. I hope we all are, the whole damn school.
Of course, we weren’t asked that second question. Nobody ever is, because the honest response is frightening. Fear and guilt are sisters like Shirley Jackson said, and it’s that fear, that guilt, which made You’d Better Watch Out, such a discomfiting write… and a cathartic one as well.
You might read this and think; what a pig. You might wrack your brains and know that you have never bullied, that you’ve never had the power, the numbers, the social media sway, and just… mown somebody down. If this is you, then – honestly – fair play, and good luck; please enjoy this tale of just desserts.
But if what I describe gives you that shiver of guilt, then please; embrace it. Horror should make us uncomfortable, it’s why it’s got the level-headed fans. Please do read this book about a skin-flaying elf, and I sincerely hope makes you uncomfortable, and healthier.
My Shelves Are Full 